An End To Terrorism

Much has been debated about torture and Guantanamo. I had a revelation last night about how we might solve this problem of getting terror suspects to give it up. They should be forced to come spend a night at my house on a night like last night. They will have their sleep interrupted every 10 - 20 minutes and be forced to perform one of the following tasks:

-Respond to the question "What time is it?"

-Calm a hacking cough.

-Have to find the correct dosage of the correct medication in the dark for said cough.

-Explain that it's not necessary to alert me when using the toilet at 2 AM.

-Provide full beverage service, including a straw.

-Sooth a screaming child, in the midst of a nightmare - usually pertaining to a school art project that had somehow found it's way to the trash. "Why, why did you throw my toilet paper roll train away!?"

-Turn the hall light off to stop the searing light on your retinas.

-Remind house occupant that the kitchen is closed from 10pm to 6am.

-Change the full bedding and clothing of a delirious child.

Then the next day, they will be forced to be functional, alert, and cognizant enough to help complete homework, make elaborate Valentines mailboxes, prepare three full meals, execute detailed accounting tasks, and maintain a fit to be occupied level of cleanliness in a home.

Trust me, it wouldn't take long before they start sobbing and naming names. It would end terrorism as we know it.