December is a stressful month for me because I have no gift giving ability. I have never been good at knowing what to give someone and have always been insecure about this. I hate it when someone opens a gift I gave them in front of me. I will purposely be at the punch bowl or in the bathroom or in the car on the way home during this part of the party. I instinctively will begin to apologize to the recipient if forced to be present as they open the package.
I've decided it takes five things to be a good gift giver: love in your heart, time, creativity, talent, and money. Now by my calculations, you can be lacking in one or two of these areas and still be able to give respectively. In my case though, I severely lack in four of these five areas. The love in my heart I can do, but the tangible manifestation of that love is problematic. If your love language is gifts, we probably aren't friends anymore.
I have often thought that it would be nice if there was an opt-out program of some kind of like the do not call list. I sign away my rights to ever receive gifts again, and in turn I no longer will be expected to give gifts. My world would be so much easier if that existed. I could celebrate Christmas with no stress, regrets, or guilt. I would look at my beautiful tree on Christmas morning with the vast space surrounding it and think...free at last, free at last! This of course is merely a fantasy of mine and especially doesn't work with kids and the one fifth of the population with "gifts" as their love language (if you are a Gary Chapman believer) aren't going anywhere. They'll still get offended by me at least two times per year, their birthday and Christmas and probably more if they happen to have gotten married, graduated, or had a baby that year.
But let it be known, I do have love in my heart...just none of the other four things. I'm truly sorry.
Merry Christmas!
3 comments:
Do not apologize for your gift giving troubles- I think most people feel the exact way you do. I get so stressed out trying to find just the right thing, (you know, the GIFT that has "it"). Perhaps you can start a Facebook Site: "It's the thought that counts." I will be your first fan.
i still remember what you got me for Abe's shower, and I don't remember any of the other gifts. It was a little outfit from old navy and I liked it so much I brought it to the hospital to have his first pictures taken in it. I like giving gifts. for kids this is the rule I follow: for boys get something that flies and for girls get something that sparkles. For Adults I have no help to offer.
I think of you and your sis every year I decorate my house for Christmas and place my "elf on a shelf". He is by far the cutest decoration I have and he came from you! By the way, love in your heart is all you really need...except with the kids, they are a little more demanding. Good luck!
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