"Now that you are in your 40s..."

So I went for a doctor visit the other day and in the course of conversation, if you can call it that when only one person is talking, seven dreadful words came out of the doctor's mouth. "Now that you are in your 40s...." Not that there is anything wrong with being in your 40s, except for the fact that I still have oh at least three Christmases, 39 weekends, over a thousand days, and around 3100 meals to eat before I am 40. I must have had a horrific scowl on my face because I'm pretty sure I saw not only embarrassment, but a little bit of fear in her eyes when I politely corrected her math calculations. Don't people know the rules. You never ever, ever, EVER, make reference to, elude to, hint about, or in this case state as assumed fact about one's age or pregnancy status. I mean seriously, unless you physically witness that baby emerging with your own vision corrected eyes, or have a certified birth certificate in your hands, you just don't assume.

So I don't think I am that sensitive, but it did get me to wondering if I look old for my age, or maybe it was my crotchety attitude that made her assume it had to be menopause induced. Then that got me to thinking about the different genetic cards that each person gets dealt. I often have wondered if it was something like picking out options on a new house. Yeah I'd like the I can eat everything I want and not gain weight gene please. Oh I'm sorry that is an expensive one. I can grant that, but in exchange I'm afraid you will also be getting the acne, five 0'clock shadow on your legs, and cross-eyed genes. I can see myself pondering for a moment then agreeing to the arrangement.

So back to the aging issue, I blame the fact that I never much had use for sun glasses or sun screen for that matter. I just figured they were an money making scheme. And then you know being cross-eyed ain't no picnic. It causes a lot of squinting which sucks on two fronts: people think you don't like them when really you just trying to get your eyes to focus and it leaves big creases in between your eye brows. I'M NOT ANGRY, JUST CROSS EYED!!!

So I'm not going down with out a fight. I had microdermabrasion last weekend in the hopes that technology had advanced to the point of being able to sand blast a decade or so off my face. Hair color, teeth whitening, 5am work outs are to follow.

In my 40s. Why don't you shove that chart where the sun don't shine lady and no it is not menopause that is making me agitated!! But like I said, I'm not the sensitive type, so it's cool.